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Dan Maynes Aminzade

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Actuated Workbench
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Hover
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Fuzzmail
KC-135
OSCAR

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SETI Joke
Pepsi Database
Love Calculator

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Love Calculator

Have you ever checked out the Love Calculator?  Like the Hamster Dance or the Dancing Baby, it's one of those annoying little web trends that manages to spread, virus-like, until it has saturated the internet community.

Here's a description of the Love Calcuator, excerpted from the official Love Calculator website:

We all know that a name can tell a lot about a person.  Names are not randomly chosen: they all have a meaning.  Doctor Love knew this so he made another great invention just for the lonely you!

Sometimes you'd like to know if a relationship with someone could work out. Therefore Doctor Love himself designed this great machine for you. With The Love Calculator you can calculate the probability on a successful relationship between two people.  The Love Calculator is an affective [sic] way to get an impression of what the chances are on a relationship between certain people.

I downloaded the Love Calculator and amused myself with it for a while.  It consists of two text boxes and a button.  You simply type in the names of two people and press the button, and a number that purportedly corresponds to the likelihood of a prosperous relationship between the two people is "scientifically computed."

lovecalc.gif (5154 bytes)

Not a bad concept, I suppose, but it seems narrow-minded in its application.   Apparently "Dr. Love" holds a rather traditional conception of the idea of  love.  Inspired by the somewhat less traditional manner in which love is portrayed in the Isaac Hayes song "Simultaneous", I decided to make the Love Calculator more versatile.  I spent a little time deciphering Dr. Love's secret love formula, and then programmed the new Three-Way Love Calculator.

lovecalc3way.gif (6947 bytes)

Now I'm no PhD like Dr. Love, so I can't claim to have anything approaching his level of expertise in these matters, but it seems to me that this new version of the Love Calculator is a substantial improvement.  Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Doesn't work?  You may have to install the VB runtime libraries.